The Story: This comes up a lot, but I’ll tell the story of one boy, especially. He’s a very nice kid! But one day was all about pushing him and GIVING HIM THE PERMISSION to hit hard & to not be nice. With a bit of coaxing, he stepped it up and had the best test he’s had in a long time.
The Lesson: There’s a difference between being kind and being nice. Kindness is a virtue: It’s treating others with respect, compassion, and love. Niceness is NOT a virtue. In martial arts, you can’t be too nice. It’s a contact sport! If you are too deferential to your partner, you aren’t learning how to do it properly. As a teacher, if I’m always Mr. Nice Guy, my students won’t get better because I’m not willing to push them. When we give ourselves permission to be strong, assertive, and NOT nice, it empowers us to grow & achieve great things.
